TYRION QUOTES

          Everything is better with some wine in the belly

• "Far too much has been written about great men, and not nearly enough about morons.”
• “Trial by combat, deciding a man’s guilt or innocence in the eyes of the gods by having two other men hack each other to pieces. It tells you something about the gods.”
• “Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs."
• "It's not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it.”
•  1. -to varys- The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt, The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the Gods such vicious cunts?
  Where is the God of tits and wine?
  
  2. -to joffrey-  Ooo, I'm a monster. Perhaps you should speak to me more softly then. Monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies.
  ~S03E10
  
  3. Janos Slynt- I won't have my honor questioned by an imp!
      Tyrion - I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its   existence.
•   A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid.
•  "I wish I was the monster you think I am. "
  
  "My brother has his sword, and I have my mind. A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone."
  
  “We've had vicious kings, and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if  we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!” (to Joffrey)
  
  "It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on its head." (to Joffrey)
•  Dialogue with Cersei-
  
  Cersei: You're not even half as smart as you think you are.
  
  Tyrion: Still makes me twice as smart as you!
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